


Out of Reach

by MoonCat163



Category: Loki (Marvel) - Fandom, MCU, Marvel Cinematic Universe, The Avengers (Marvel Movies)
Genre: Angst, Don’t copy to another site, F/M, Loki still does what he wants, Loki will not leave her, Unnamed lover - Freeform, Warning: may be depressing to some, he loves her, quarantined
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-05-02
Updated: 2020-05-02
Packaged: 2021-03-02 03:20:54
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,940
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23958337
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/MoonCat163/pseuds/MoonCat163
Summary: Summary: Loki’s lover contracts the contagion that’s  currently ravaging the planet. When she’s quarantined, he’s not allowed near her, since it’s not clear whether he or Thor (or any of the others on the team) could be infected.He has to be content with watching through the glass walls or with sending a clone in to comfort her. That’s all well and good, until she takes a turn for the worse. He then ignores his own safety in order to be by her side.
Relationships: Loki/OFC
Comments: 6
Kudos: 28





	Out of Reach

**Author's Note:**

> I know that the whole world is reeling from the pandemic. This month is not only depressing because of it, but it also marks the 3 year anniversary of my mother’s passing. Her birthday is in April, along with her wedding anniversary with my Dad. So, it’s a triple dose of sadness for us.
> 
> Anyway, I wrote this while missing her. I hope it’s not too upsetting for anyone; it was just something that I had to get on “paper”, so to speak. 🥺

“I should have listened to you.”

Her voice was soft with regret. 

Loki stood behind her, watching her through the reflection of the window where she stood. She stared out over the nearly empty streets of the city that she loved, and had quite likely given her life for. 

His face was impassive but he silently agreed with her comment. However, if she _had_ listened to him, she would not be the caring and compassionate person that he adored. 

When he said nothing, she turned slightly to look over her shoulder at him. 

“It’s okay, you can say ‘I told you so,’” she told him, with a wry smile.

“Under different circumstances, I would not hesitate,” he responded. “This is not the time.”

She nodded before turning back to the window. After a few minutes’ silence, she spoke again. 

“It’s so strange to see how such a large city can be so _empty._ ”

Loki agreed with that. The city was usually noisy and crowded, and he detested walking shoulder to shoulder with the Midgardians on the rare occasions that he ventured out of the Tower. 

He had started going out more often, though, with her hand tucked firmly in his elbow. She loved being out among the other residents, although she tried to be considerate of him. She would coax him out for a walk when the foot traffic had diminished some, and would then lead him up side streets, and then to the park. 

“I wish…” she started to say, then her voice faded when she turned to face him. 

“What, dear heart?”

“I wish you could be here, in here, with me.”

Loki, or Loki’s illusion, rather, cupped her cheek with one hand, then brushed the single tear away with his thumb. 

“I would like that, too,” he responded, eyes studying her face intently. 

She had been in the quarantine unit for close to two weeks by now, and steadily grew weaker as her body tried to fight off the contagion that she’d been exposed to. Stress and exhaustion worked against her, lending strength to an unseen enemy for which there was no cure; at least not at the moment. 

The medical system had been inundated with the sick, and there was a race to develop a vaccine in an attempt to prevent more people from sickening or dying. In the meantime, patients were treated as best as they could be and made as comfortable as possible. 

She had been on what was called the “Front Line”, which consisted of medical professionals and their support staff, along with other essential workers. Although she was a doctor employed by Stark Industries, she had quickly volunteered at the nearest ER to help with the urgent cases that stretched the capacity of the hospital. 

Loki had disagreed vehemently with that decision. He knew that she would work until she dropped, and that if she sickened, there would be little that anyone could do to help her. Besides that, he trusted that Stark’s building would have much better equipment than any hospital setting to sterilize and stop any contamination. 

She’d smiled sweetly at him but had gone to help her neighbors anyway. When she tested positive for the contagion, but before she started feeling ill, she’d been quickly quarantined to safeguard the people in the Tower. 

Loki had not been allowed near her, nor could he join her in the unit. It was uncertain whether he, Thor, or the others on the team could contract the virus, but no one wanted to take that chance.

So he visited her, despising the reinforced glass that kept him from touching her. His illusion could do so, but it wasn’t the same for either of them. When he wasn’t with her, he spent time searching his memory and the few spell books that he had with him, looking for something that could help her. 

She finally sighed and turned to take the clone by the hand in order to lead him toward the bed. She laid down, then urged him beside her and curled against his side. He held her close while gently running his hand along her arm. 

“I’m tired,” she whispered. 

“I know, my pet,” he murmured. 

He’d noticed that she now had more difficulty getting to her feet, and spent less time standing at the window. She barely ate, so now had liquid nutrients delivered through the IV needle in her wrist. 

Her fever would spike, then abate somewhat until she pushed herself too hard to come to the glass that separated them so that she could simply stare at him. It was as if she were committing him to memory. 

“I’m sorry,” she then said.

“Stop,” he reprimanded her firmly. “You would not be you if you had done otherwise.”

“Still, I’ve hurt you, and I didn’t mean to. I know that you never meant to get involved with a Midgardian...and now -“

“My darling, you’re acting like you’ll be rid of me soon,” he chuckled, but it was without mirth. 

He knew exactly what she meant, and she was correct that he never intended to establish a long term relationship with a human, or mortal, as he sometimes called them. Over his lifespan, he’d developed feelings for maybe two humans, and it had affected him more than he cared to admit. 

Loki rarely forgot anything, however his feelings for her were so strong and deep, he could barely remember how the others had made him feel. Now it appeared as if his time with her would be even less than the other two relationships combined. 

“Rest now,” he murmured, his hand now gently stroking her hair. 

“You, too.”

“Later,” he promised. 

He stayed with her until she was asleep, then carefully let the illusion fade so that she didn’t wake. Once he returned to his apartment, he paced for a bit before going to his desk in order to search his books, and his memory again. 

Loki was still up when morning came; he’d gone through his spell books twice, then sat in his chair, in the dark, while meditating. Despite his efforts, he still could not find anything that he felt he could use to help her. Perhaps if he had a Soul Forge...he cut that thought off almost as quickly as it came to him. 

Asgard was gone, along with anyone who could help him, as well as any instruments that he could possibly use. Thinking of Asgard always reminded him of Frigga, and he couldn’t bear the loss of her, so he tried not to dwell on her memory. 

He had just finished making himself a cup of tea when Thor came into the common kitchen. From the expression on his brother's face, he knew without being told. 

In his hurry, he left the tea cup behind. 

— 

When Loki reached the medical wing where she was quarantined, several people stepped in his way as they tried to stop or at least slow him down. Thor told them to move aside, knowing that Loki would not obey any command from anyone there. 

Finally, they reached the containment unit. This time, Loki was hindered by the locked door. He could see that there were several people in her room; all of them were in full protective suits, and they were crowded around her bed. Most of the shades were drawn over the windows, making it hard to see what was happening. 

After some time, most of the people left the room, and were careful in removing their suits. No one came to unlock the door yet, causing Loki to growl softly under his breath. Thor kept his eye on his brother, knowing that he wouldn’t wait much longer. 

“Sirs,” Jarvis said. “The doctors ask for patience while they verify that the outer room is clean. They don’t want to take a chance of you being infected.”

“What’s happened?” Loki asked, his attention fixed on the room.

“She started having trouble breathing.”

After what he considered a reasonable amount of time, Loki finally cast an illusion into the room so that he could see for himself, at least until the door was unlocked or, more likely, until he blew it off its hinges. What he saw gave him a moment of panic: she laid on the bed, pale and unmoving, and had some type of tubing in her mouth now. A new machine next to her bed beeped and also made a sound like rushing air. 

“Open the door, I’m going in.”

“Sir, that’s not advisable-“ Jarvis said, before he was interrupted. 

“Open it, or I’ll do it myself.”

Jarvis unlocked the door, then a doctor approached once they'd stepped in. Loki went straight to the doors that provided access to her room.

“These, too.” 

The doctor hesitated while he looked at Thor, who simply shook his head slightly. He would not be able to help stop Loki from getting to her. 

“Step through the first set, then wait for the green light before going through the second set to prevent contamination,” the doctor told him. 

Loki followed the instructions and immediately went to her bedside. He perched on the side of the bed before taking her hand. Then he studied her quietly while he watched the new machine force air into her lungs. Her hair had been brushed back from her face and a soft cloth covered her eyes so that the lights wouldn’t bother her. 

He interlaced his fingers with hers, then gently caressed her fingers. Her hand was soft, but strong, her nails short. He liked the way she kept them because he knew that she was sensible, and that longer nails would get in the way of her work. They were bare of the dark green or teal polish she normally used so that the medical team could watch for signs that her oxygen level was failing. 

After a few minutes, Loki left her long enough to slide a chair closer so that he could sit. Then every shade in the room slid closed, leaving only one small observation window uncovered. 

He stayed there, not moving except when the medics needed to see to her. He either sat in the chair or laid beside her, always holding onto her hand and talking to her. 

Loki ignored Thor’s offers to sit with her so that he could eat or rest. He simply was not going to leave her. So Thor arranged for food and tea to be brought to him. He ate when he needed to, often ignoring the tray until the food was cold. The tea was usually lukewarm by then, but he drank it. 

For a week, he sat with her. The nurses or doctors would keep check, entering the room several times a day to check the equipment or to replenish the IV. There was no improvement or worsening of her condition; she simply held steady. 

On this day, Loki stood, staring out the window while a nurse adjusted the ventilator. The sedative that kept her under had been reduced in order to slowly her wean off it and the ventilator if possible. Today, they planned to turn down the oxygen slightly to see if she would breathe on her own.

He turned to watch but didn’t move from his location. A second nurse came in to assist his colleague, and they spoke quietly to avoid antagonizing Loki but also so that she wouldn’t panic in case she was able to hear them. 

“Sir, if you’ll take her hand and ask her to squeeze your fingers for you?” 

Loki nodded and did as he was asked. His voice was soft, yet commanding, telling her to move her hand or to squeeze his. 

“Dear heart, I’m sure you can hear me,” he murmured, close to her ear. “Do as I ask, I miss you.”

She didn’t respond, but he knew she was still there and could hear him. The nurse adjusted the ventilator to maintain the current setting while her partner checked other readings. 

“So far, so good,” she told Loki. Her smile was hidden by her mask, but he knew and nodded slightly. “Keep talking to her.”

With that, he was left alone until the next time they needed to come in. Loki continued to hold her hand and talk. He also continued to refuse to allow anyone else to take watch. As a result, his temper bubbled just under the surface, and he struggled to keep it in check. Sleep would do him good, but he didn’t want to miss anything, good or bad. 

Thor came to the unit almost daily to check on them both. If Loki noticed him at the observation window, he didn’t acknowledge the fact; he was too concerned with her. 

Over the next couple of days, the sedative and vent were steadily reduced, with no apparent indications of stress. On the fourth day, Loki actually fell asleep in his chair, with his head resting against her side and while holding her hand against his cheek. 

The medical staff worked around him, being extremely quiet so that they wouldn’t wake him. They were rather amazed that he’d gone without sleep for nearly two weeks, and didn’t want to disturb him if they could help it. When they left the room, one of them dimmed the lights slightly for him. 

It was several hours later when Loki awoke to someone playing with his hair. It was just the slightest movement, but was enough to invade his sleep and rouse him. He sat up slowly, looking around to see who dared to touch him. No one was in the room though, and he was just about to chalk it off to a dream when her fingers squeezed his weakly. 

“Dear heart?” He asked, softly. “Can you hear me? Squeeze my hand again.”

Again, a weak squeeze that almost made him shout for joy. When she then started to struggle against the ventilator, he quickly stood to hold both wrists to keep her from trying to yank on the tubing. 

By that time, several of the doctors and nurses were in the room to help him. They talked to her, soothing her while they worked. She finally calmed down, but held onto Loki’s hand with what strength she had. 

“I’m not leaving you,” he assured her. “Try to relax.”

Loki moved the cloth that covered her eyes and smiled when she blinked furiously before trying to focus on his face. He wiped the single tear that slid down her cheek before kissing her hand. 

— —

“You should go,” she whispered. “They need you.”

“You need me more,” he replied, firmly. 

She smiled softly at him. A week had passed since she’d been taken off the ventilator. Now she was in a regular room, but the doctors still watched closely because they didn’t want to deal with the aftermath if something were to happen. 

“I’ll be alright. It’s only for a couple days, right?”

“Yes, but…”

“You have work to do,” she interrupted him gently. Her hand closed over his, and her thumb brushed across his knuckles. 

It took some convincing, but finally he agreed to leave her for no more than two days. He meant that he would be back whether or not the business in DC was concluded.

When Loki did return, after his promised two days, he went immediately to her hospital room. She wasn’t there, nor were many of the nurses who were to keep an eye on her. She’d evidently slipped away without their noticing, and they were frantically searching, hoping to find her before they had to admit to misplacing her. 

They could tell that he was furious when he turned on his heel to start his own search. No one felt that she was strong enough to get very far; the only thing they were sure about was that she hadn’t left the building. 

Before he could get too worked up though, Thor found him and brought him back to the Avengers’ level, then to his apartment. 

“Why are we here-“

“Look.” Thor motioned toward the bedroom door. 

Loki stopped at the door in surprise, while Thor silently left. She was there, in his bed, fast asleep. She wore one of his shirts, slept facedown on his side of the bed, and had her face mashed into his pillow. One arm and one leg stuck out from beneath the sheet draped over her.

Relief washed over him, along with a bit of amusement that she’d pretty much wrapped herself in him. Loki went over to sit down carefully and brushed her hair back from her face. He then leaned over to kiss her temple. She stirred with a sigh, then put her arm over his leg. 

“Loki,” she breathed softly. 

“Mmm,” he whispered. “What are you doing here? You’re not where I left you.”

“I wanted to surprise you,” she replied. “And I missed your scent…”

He said nothing, just caressed her head gently until she was awake enough to crawl into his lap. Her arms circled his back while he nearly crushed her against him. 

“Don’t ever scare me like that again,” Loki murmured. 

She shook her head slightly before she kissed the hollow of his throat. 

“I love you.”

“I love you too, dear heart.”

Loki then held her, rocking gently until she went back to sleep. He made a promise to himself, and to her, that he would never let anything happen to her. 

He wouldn’t just love her until the day she died; he would love her until the day _he_ died. 


End file.
